El Gord sent me (along with a couple of million others) this yesterday: From the PM - Building Britain's FutureTest
“I have today published the Government’s plan for Building Britain’s Future. It is a radical vision for a fairer, stronger and more prosperous society for all.We have made enormous strides, driving up standards of health care and education; cutting crime and poverty; and harnessing Britain’s economic potential.”
Which should read:
“I have today published the Government’s plan for Building Britain’s Future. It is a cobbled together set of half baked ideas, and I really don’t give a toss because I will be unemployed next year and look forward to my enormous pension and severance pay provided by the voters.
“We have made enormous strides, driving up the cost of health care and education by employing hundreds of management consultants at the cost of £350 million pounds, and trying to privatise the NHS destroying the moral of workers in the meantime.”
“The country has been transformed and I am proud that Britain is now a better place to live.”
"The country has been transformed into a waste land, I have bollocksed up the economy while I was chancellor and now you are going to have to pay for it for the next thirty years, and I am proud that I will be moving to another country when I retire next year,”
“The severe global downturn has threatened our jobs and homes here in the UK, leaving many of you understandably anxious about the future for you and your children.”
“Honestly it wasn’t my fault, it was the Americans that caused it, and I still really don’t give a shit because I won’t be here to watch it.”
“Carefully targeted investment of an extra £1.5 billion over the next two years will also deliver an additional 20,000 new affordable homes and create 45,000 jobs. And new guidance will allow local authorities more flexibility on how they allocate council houses.”
“I will be taking money from refurbishments, to build new homes, leaving hundreds of thousands of people living in houses and flats that need double glazing, new kitchens and bathrooms and lowering their quality of life for years to come.”
“I have completely failed to control immigration and will pass the responsibility onto councils, so that they will be blamed when there are not enough houses for local people.”
“We have already started the process of cleaning up politics and more action will follow to restore confidence in our democratic institutions.”
“We were caught with our hands in the till, and I will make sure that next time we will not be caught.”
“And we want to know your ideas on how we build a better future for Britain – one that’s fairer, more prosperous and responsible. I look forward to hearing from you.”
“Really; don’t bother to contact me because I won’t listen to you and anyway after the next election any changes I might make until then will be reversed when I am unemployed.”
Gordon (I wish Tony was here) Brown
Angus
Angus Dei on all and sundry
NHS Behind the headlines
Angus Dei-NHS-THE OTHER SIDE
“I have today published the Government’s plan for Building Britain’s Future. It is a radical vision for a fairer, stronger and more prosperous society for all.We have made enormous strides, driving up standards of health care and education; cutting crime and poverty; and harnessing Britain’s economic potential.”
Which should read:
“I have today published the Government’s plan for Building Britain’s Future. It is a cobbled together set of half baked ideas, and I really don’t give a toss because I will be unemployed next year and look forward to my enormous pension and severance pay provided by the voters.
“We have made enormous strides, driving up the cost of health care and education by employing hundreds of management consultants at the cost of £350 million pounds, and trying to privatise the NHS destroying the moral of workers in the meantime.”
“The country has been transformed and I am proud that Britain is now a better place to live.”
"The country has been transformed into a waste land, I have bollocksed up the economy while I was chancellor and now you are going to have to pay for it for the next thirty years, and I am proud that I will be moving to another country when I retire next year,”
“The severe global downturn has threatened our jobs and homes here in the UK, leaving many of you understandably anxious about the future for you and your children.”
“Honestly it wasn’t my fault, it was the Americans that caused it, and I still really don’t give a shit because I won’t be here to watch it.”
“Carefully targeted investment of an extra £1.5 billion over the next two years will also deliver an additional 20,000 new affordable homes and create 45,000 jobs. And new guidance will allow local authorities more flexibility on how they allocate council houses.”
“I will be taking money from refurbishments, to build new homes, leaving hundreds of thousands of people living in houses and flats that need double glazing, new kitchens and bathrooms and lowering their quality of life for years to come.”
“I have completely failed to control immigration and will pass the responsibility onto councils, so that they will be blamed when there are not enough houses for local people.”
“We have already started the process of cleaning up politics and more action will follow to restore confidence in our democratic institutions.”
“We were caught with our hands in the till, and I will make sure that next time we will not be caught.”
“And we want to know your ideas on how we build a better future for Britain – one that’s fairer, more prosperous and responsible. I look forward to hearing from you.”
“Really; don’t bother to contact me because I won’t listen to you and anyway after the next election any changes I might make until then will be reversed when I am unemployed.”
Gordon (I wish Tony was here) Brown
Angus
Angus Dei on all and sundry
NHS Behind the headlines
Angus Dei-NHS-THE OTHER SIDE
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